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Star Wars vs Star Trek – They’re really the same thing

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I breach the subject of “have you ever seen Star Trek” with random people in my life, both close and acquaintal, and the response is usually the same:

Dude, Star Wars is so much better.

A formidable response, which I oppose but only to equalise the playing field. I myself don’t consider Star Trek better, just that it’s as good. It’s not a space opera, it’s a slow burner. It has more technical know-how but examines the human condition more careful along with actual space battles.

Destroying the Death Star? You’re missing out on the Federation taking out the Dominion in DS9, now THAT was a battle.

I have found though that I can shock people with some nerve-wracking similarities between Star Wars and Star Trek, but in true Nelson fashion I take it one step further by including everyone’s favourite topic…

RELIGION!

Let me reveal the reasons why: Keep Reading

Star Trek 50th Anniversary – 9 Best Moments

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I could not live without seeing another Star Trek go unwritten, especially at the 50th anniversary of its conception and release. So now, here’s mine for you to enjoy.

  1. The Trouble with Tribbles – the ridiculousness of the small creatures that Captain Kirk used to outsmart a Klingon secret agent.
  2. The Rock, appearing in Voyager as a cage fighter and whacking Borg exile Seven of Nine in hand-to-hand laser-tag fisticuffs.
  3. Jeffrey Combs – that versatile actor that appeared in three spin-offs (DS9, Voyager and Enterprise), delivering the insidious, but ultimately doomed line, “The Dominion…will endure long after the Federation has crumbled into dust.”
  4. Captain Picard’s love-life – three actresses captured the stoic leader’s heart, leaving you with a primal urge to shout at the screen, “just be happy, you idiot.” While holding a candle up for Beverly Crusher the entire series, his intensity for Lieutenant Nella Daran catches you off guard.
  5. While speaking of holding a candle for an entire series, at least Odo from DS9 managed to overcome his shyness through jazz and become entangled (literally) with Colonel Kira Nerys over the last season or two.
  6. Worf and prune juice – because his love for rotten eggs wasn’t enough, his love for the Earth beverage became the humanising factor that defined the Klingon with a “don’t give a damn attitude”. Warrior, father, lover, drinker of juice.
  7. Finding out Simon Turner, “Captain Christopher Pike”, was only in the pilot for the original series, and that decision saved the franchise before it leaped into existence.
  8. The demise of Commander Charles Tucker from Enterprise on its last episode – that heartstring got fully tugged, I won’t lie.
  9. Crazy cameos – amongst them Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine, Seth Macfarlane of “Family Guy” and Kelsey Grammar from “Frasier”

Love Star Trek much?

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love star trek
There are few subjects I can usually relate to people about. Sports are as functional to me as sex, I just don’t know the people performing in both. Even an ex-girlfriend successfully stood me up when I tried to open up the fuel-tank for a van I hired to move home.

But I love Star Trek…hold onto your ridges, Mister Worf.
Keep Reading

Going Offline – Day 23: All this open space…

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outside is real

 

So what has happened since my deep and tearful goodbye from the virtuous existence of cyber-stalking my nephews and former loves?
Nothing…nothing’s happened.
But I can tell you I feel less than interested about returning to the site on a regular basis to read about what sort of pancake mc-enema someone’s had two weeks ago on the coast of Costa Da Whateva with their moronic brood of inter-spacial Martian children hanging from their steel-girdered nipples conversing in an unintelligible language consisting of clicks and farts.
Seriously, I am.
Yesterday, you may not believe this…but as I walked outside the place I live in, I actually…ok, you’ll be shocked…I, totally, said hello to a stranger. Would you believe that, a complete stranger, someone I had never met, outside my abode, my safe place previously reserved by me to sit in front of my Dell screen clicking on status updates while eating cookies (not biscuits)…and I said yes to them.
I may be writing this sarcastically, but in reality I was more concerned now with what someone has going on around them at that very moment, which are the real moments we keep losing out on every day sitting in front of our electronic communications devices. I betcha Kirk didn’t envisage that when we was strutting through the decks of the Enterprise trying to out-strut Spock.
Which is f***ing insane…Spock’s struts are legendary, even his people turn an eyebrow.
Anyway, I’m glad I’m not on there. And so far, I’m enjoying it. Here’s some recommendations:
  • www.tedisreal.com – A funny movie coming out in August with Mark Walhberg and Mila Kunis, and a VERY rude teddy-bear voiced by Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane
  • Game of Thrones is back for a second season, and the first two episodes have been gloriously evil and deliciously dirty with a hint of medieval fantasy. Find it.
  • Community is midway on it’s third season with a turbulent war in the making between Troy and Abed. You can’t miss the best friendship group I’ve never been in myself, duh!
  • Pancakes….just simply pancakes, there’s not enough of ’em and there’s nowhere enough around me to enjoy.

Peace out, lovely amigos, I’m working tonight at the Painted Grin show in Benny’s Bar, come down and enjoy!

Going Offline – Day 13: 24 Hour Limits

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waiting

In other words, once you deactivate, you return to reactivate and THEN it says you have to wait a full day. Talk about waiting.

This is marvelous.

Not only do I ensure that no spammers keep sending me crappy mails telling me to join their group OR come to their show, but now I can literally limit the time I spend on the site itself.

It’s a mental hospital locking you up in a cell for drug abuse, and you’re left screaming.

It’s also…not working, as I’m now spending time on Twitter.

See? Addictive personalities need an addiction to cling on to, may it be substances (alcohol, cigarettes, drugs) or other forms of deprecation that hurts themselves or others…perhaps I can developer a sexual addiction where I just stop caring about rejection, approach every fanny I fall on and then tell them to bugger off.

Thankfully, my newest ones are Twitter, performing comedy shows and watching Star Trek. I swear, if I’m at least funny, I think I can do well being a loser twat with a currently-shaved making people giggle at my insecurities.

Have a happy and joyous weekend, people, and I’ll see you on Twitter (check the panel on the right for details on Twitter and gigs)

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