In my vain quest to better myself, I wrote the “Nelson’s Personal Top Ten Commandments Slash Resolutions of 2015”, which I’m printing out and framing somewhere so it looks all cool and stuff:
- Thou shalt be funnier
- Thou shalt allow thyself more time for creativity
- Thou shalt NOT be sequestered into banal activities that succumb thee to procrastination like “videogames” or “let’s go visit my mother”
- Thou shalt write some more, including another script. The wise sage Luc Besson wrote “Leon” in 2 weeks and that turned out fucking awesome.
- Thou shalt return to a major inner-city comedy club to perform and make the proletariat laugh and giggle at new and fancy shit.
- Thou shalt live in a palatial home with a marble…kitchen counter, and a functioning toaster.
- Thou shalt NOT use said toaster, as thou hast denied thyself ALL carbs.
- Thou shalt stay focused and driven…and by driven, meaning thou shall have sold thy motor-veHEEcle and opt for walking to thy abode of employment
- Thou shalt continue to love those near thee, and remember to call at least one person a week for a chat and a debate.
- Thou shalt love thyself…and remember that thou were the fastest swimmer out of a couple of trillion others that didn’t make it.
Happy New Year for 2015, everybody.