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Top Five Classic Comedy Villains You Need To See

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top ten villains header

Every podcast with most veterans will include a soundbite that goes something along the lines of “I love playing the villain.”

The antagonist is the best thing about a movie, regardless of the protagonist chosen as the film’s blockbuster drawcard. From Gary Oldman in Dracula, to Darth Vader in Star Wars.

And in comedy, it’s no different. Here’s my Top Five Classic Comedy Villains you have to see.

Alan Rickman in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”

While Jesse Eisenberg’s performance as Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman “chewed the furniture”, Alan Rickman gorged upon his lines with relish…and mustard.

It had tremendously help from Kevin Kostner’s wooden Robin Hood to make Rickman’s antics and larky comments that much richer.

Gary Oldman in “The Fifth Element”

In stand-up a joke can be told the same way throughout, yet the performance will constantly change the nuances of the punchlines. And one could’ve delivered a better “Jean-Baptist Emannuel Zorg” quite like theatre great Gary Oldman.

This multi-layered Brit lavishes his character with a Southern drawl and neurotic energy that can never be copied, imitated or perfected.

Thomas F Wilson in “Back to the Future”

Range is a gift and a talent for any actor, and Thomas F Wilson’s many turns as “Biff Tannen” in Back to the Future.

Consider this: he played a rambunctious teenager twice, a self-made business bully and a subservient lacky, a conniving old man AND a villainous, dirty cowboy. Across three movies. I’m still trying to think of a more widely known role any other actor has yet achieved.

Oh and coolest fact I’ve found about a movie yet, Back to the Future is banned in China as they consider time travel “disrespects history.” This means that, potentially, half of the world has never seen Back to the Future.

Rick Moranis in “Spaceballs”

For all the choices above, this list needs a campy, straight-shooting actor who knows when to have fun, and Rick Moranis shone in Mel Brook’s Lucas-blessed parody “Space Balls”.

He provided everything a comedic director would ask for, “Just go out there and be funny.” and Moranis definitely did.

G.W. Bailey in “Police Academy”

While R Lee Eremy as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in “Full Metal Jacket” epitomised true military authority most teenagers despised, G.W. Bailey’s turn as the underrated leader Lieutenant Harris in “Police Academy” galvanised the comedic version.

Campy and Napoleonic, the character was the butt of the group’s jokes and the source of recalcitrance for many a youth then and today.

And there you have it. Hope this cheered up your day from the long weekend.

Are your dogs barking for your attention?

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dogs barking

In my own little world this morning, I walked past someone’s house and was shocked out of my reverie by dogs barking, two little pedigree bull terriers to be exact.

And commonly humans perceive that they’re just protecting their home from intruders, but my brain went a little overboard with new possibilities.

What if they are just barking to get your attention?

Like little kids that pluck your jean flaps trying to tell you something, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” and you respond, “What?”, only for the answer to be…

…”Nothing.”

Maybe dogs are just trying to tell you something as you pass by, like “Hey! Hey! Hey! You! Hey! I’ve got something to tell you!”

If you’re inquisitive, turn around, approach said doggy and ask, “What is it, boy, little Jimmy fell down the well?”

Here are the possible answers:

  • I just saw a cat!
  • Have you seen my balls?
  • My master is really tall.
  • It’s my ball, it’s my ball, it’s my ball!
  • You smell like cherries.
  • I haven’t smelt a butt in dayyysss….

Or examples thereof.

Is there just too much internet junk out there?

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internet junk and digital pollution

I’ve been thinking about all the internet junk we leave behind and how it amounts to digital pollution.

It’s like the garbage bags that float in the ocean or the space debris that orbits our planet. We create and leave behind so many email addresses, dating profiles and competition entries.

You know that every time you create a fake Facebook account to stalk your ex, someone out there has to switch on a server? A server that requires electricity, air conditioning and extra RAM, just because you need to see how happier she is without you?

We also forget the other possibility that with all this information we keep feeding into this beast could fill it up. What if one day we’re all signing up to a new form of social media and the Internet sends us all a message that says “insufficient space.”

And in voice we’ll all yell, “Awww fuck,” in so many languages.

Tomorrow I wouldn’t mug you for your car, I’d mug you for your email address. The government will send out messages, “please delete your unwanted Twitter accounts. For only 1 Gig free, you can provide an African child with an untapped source of self-esteem issues, and the opportunity to achieve unsustainable relationships…online.”

Ok, so it’s not quite possible for the Internet to fill up. But what if the Cloud acts exactly like a Cloud? When it gets heavy with water, it begins to rain. What will The Cloud do? Will my computer burst open and out will Coe this huge avalanche of cat videos, blog posts and dick pics hitting you in the face?

My question is would you prefer a big picture of a dickpic hitting you in the face, or a picture of a huge dick hitting you in the face?

Top 5 Classic Comedy TV Shows You Need to Pirate Right Now

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top 5 tv shows you need to pirate

Teehee. Of course you shouldn’t pirate any TV show, that’s horrible and illegal. But, as classic comedy TV shows go, these Top 5 are the best at instigating humour and laughter without feeling outdated and old. Keep Reading

Making a Comedy Shortfilm – Top 8 Tips I’ve Learnt

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myself and gang filming a shortfilm

I starting writing my own comedy shortfilm as a way to create something I thought I never could. I realised too that, in order for them to be made, I would have to make them.

So, I may have learnt a couple of things along the way that most would never know, some know only too well and others forget.

1. Write your comedy shortfilm properly…then ask a friend if it’s funny

It all starts with the story. I have no specific way of writing anything well, as I haven’t as yet. Everything I write down is an experience in line with an experiment.

The format is key too. Learn to write in a screenplay format, there’s tons of tutorials out there, like this one for my last sketch, the Driving Test. It helps because everyone knows the format.

Don’t wait. I could easily wait until a buddy of mine would show up at my pad, beers in hand and ready to dish out some cool anecdote I’ll be inspired to write down, but it’s not so easy for those that don’t come around to mine.

Don’t look to anybody else for inspiration, just write your story. You can, and should however, look to someone else for guidance after writing it. Get their take, receive their input gladly and follow along with whatever advice they give.

Most times, they’ll be right.

2. Get a better camera than what you’ve got, cos yours is crap

Comedy Shortfilm Poster for Driving Test
Our released shortfilm “Driving Test”

Filming your comedy shortfilm with an iPhone is actually ok. In our first one I used two when myself and Joe Emilio filmed our Driving Test one, and it was easy to use.

However, you can tell the quality is lacking, with depth of field and quality of view. So, get a better camera.

If you’re lucky, get a friend who knows cameras. Maybe he is a cameraman. I know one, he’s cool and wants to do more sketches. I’ll keep at it.

3. Keep it simple, don’t try to redo Police Academy

The first time was with me a Joe, the next with Nathan and a few more. The following was a huge undertaking and it didn’t pan out as well as I would’ve liked.

Focus on the simpler tasks first. Write all your stories, but then focus on the ones you can practically pull off on a shoestring budget with minimal fuss.

It takes a lot to coordinate extras, props, main leads and continuity. Keep it between friends. The bigger stories can be created later when more people follow and believe in you.

4. No beer on set, your grip will let go

I learnt that from my last big production. Don’t bring alcohol to the set as people will start fooling around and make unnecessary noise while director and cinematographer speak.

Keep to simple snacks, drinks and sandwiches. But no alcohol, trust me. It will spare you time.

Behind the Scenes of our shortfilm. We had beer. Don't.5. Learn to edit yourself, cos no one else will

That’s my biggest joy of the whole process, the editing phase. I love taking what Iv’e written down, then organising all the clips into one big mess.

And be prepared, this is the most time-consuming part. You will get frustrated with the files you have to sort, the audio you have to bring together and syncing both all at the same time.

And it’s learning the programs. Adobe Premiere is the industry standard, while Final Cut Pro is the layman’s lazy “professional” movie editor. Go for the latter, it’ll save you time.

As for the art of editing, I can’t teach you that. Watch other things and then mimic them. Reproduce the editing in some of the best films you’ve seen and avoid the worst ones. This will take some research.

6. Take care of the special effects and they’ll take care of you

I mean more about the titles and the lighting, as these affect the mood and how audiences perceive your shortfilm. I’m busy reediting my latest short because the lighting is all wrong on so many places and it bothers me.

Where you can, learn about filters and effects. In one comedy shortfilm I filmed long ago, I’m learning Adobe After Effects to turn it into an old 80’s movie complete with broken film (to hide that we never shot the connecting scenes). It’s excruciating, but in the end worth it.

And invest in taking time to make a cool introduction. There’s plenty of title templates to choose one, so use one that’s right for you.

7. Listen to your sound and make sure they can hear the punchline.

Need I say more? Don’t pass up the opportunity to better your sound. If you feel you can’t hear that one thing, fix it and fake it if you have to.

8. Release it and then don’t expect anything

Marketing your comedy shortfilm is the second hardest thing, as nobody would’ve heard nor care about its premise. And it won’t get many likes.

Mine hasn’t. I know. But I gotta keep trying, as I love the process of taking a story to film. Eventually, someone’s going to like it.

The Biltong Shop (2017) – A Comedy Short Film

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biltong shop comedy shortfilm

Check out our latest comedy movie, “The Biltong Shop”

THE BILTONG SHOP (2017) – A Comedy Movie

A lonely shop attendant overwhelms his latest customer with emotion and dried meat.

CAST:
Nelson de Gouveia, Werner Bestbier, Joe Emilio

Idea and Camera by Nathan Brooks

Written, Edited and Directed by Nelson de Gouveia

Produced by To The Sky Productions, 2017

Casey Affleck – He is not guilty of sexual harassment

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casey affleck with an oscar was accussed of sexual harassment

Casey Affleck has been slammed in the media and social commentary for winning an Oscar award, since he’s been accused of alleged sexually harassment by two employees.

He was accused of sexual harassment. Allegedly. Not proven or convicted.

In this post my girlfriend sent me by Sady Doyle, this voice of reason hosted by feminist-brandishing magazine Elle condones that “if the allegations are true, more and more women will be forced to work with Affleck despite the danger he poses to their physical safety and mental health“.

So she pre-empts with confirming that nobody has proven the allegations, but leads further with warning women off him regardless.

That is the male equivalent of slut-shaming and therefore sexist. Well done.

For those who argue that it isn’t the same thing…you’re right, men don’t suffer from slut-shaming, we’re applauded for being promiscuous. But women hardly suffer from being labelled “sexual harassers” either, and it happens to men too.

While women are being automatically derided as victims, men are automatically labelled as predators. Society says so, surely it must be true?

I’ve been accused of emotional abuse, a form of sexual harassment, by an ex-girlfriend recently. She posted on our comedian channels and on her own Facebook page that I was narcissistic, controlling and a sociopath.

I know I’m not any of those things, and I even showed these to my loving partner prior to the initial birth of our relationship. So far, things are completely strong between us and she finds me nothing but understanding and caring.

And, of course, nothing come of it since I’m not a celebrity winning awards or being celebrated for my first ever major accomplishment. No profit from it, I’m afraid, sorry.

Still, if I was, this would cloud it and show up to ruin the party. Even if it did reach anywhere, it would be with the comedy community, the people who provide me with the opportunities to perform as a comedian talking crap on stage about the “last 10% of my own fucks to give” or “my girlfriend starting playing my Xbox.”

So far though, it hasn’t. Everyone knew her and had their own opinion, and most of it wasn’t favourable. None of it came from me as I enjoyed her company and was sad she ended our relationship.

But to then, 2 years later, begin a slur-ranting phase about me without proof or provocation, it amounts to slander.

roman polanski is an proven rapist
Roman Polanski is a proven rapist and admitted to it

With Affleck’s case, it’s about two women that accuse him of making their working lives hell, and he eventually settled out of court. Mind you, Sady does bring up many proven examples (Mel Gibson, Roman Polanski, where’s Chris Brown), but argues his conviction without the facts being proven.

Here’s where I’d write Sady’s line a little more accurately.

If the allegations were proven to be true, Casey Affleck should pay restitution financially, therapy and rehabilitation, and even jailtime. He should also return his award as it was gained on the backs of those that suffered under him.

If the allegations were proven to be false however, we should forgive him and apologise to him for slandering his name after having worked so hard to achieve one of Hollywood’s highest awards.

Meanwhile, we will never know until the next time it MAY happen.

This isn’t a case to defend Casey against the naysayers that believe he did it (and oh boy, they do), because I have no idea. No one has come forth with proof showing Casey saying those words or being a dickhead.

He probably is a dickhead. Most people are.
But until we prove his sexual harassment, we have to defend his rights to freedom of expression as much as we should to every woman, every child and every man that walks amongst us. just as much as we expect everyone else to do the same for us.

As for my case, I know what emotional abuse is though, I suffered it recently and glad I came out of it, but to slander in public with no proof means nothing, especially from me.

No, I’m calling the pitchfork-wielding villagers out for getting their facts straight and promoting hysteria. You’re not fake news, you’re being Fox News. Stop it.

How I’m trying to make an offensive joke funny…

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How I'm trying to make an offensive joke funny...

I worried over a joke last night that I knew will be offensive because I hadn’t written it correctly and it was raw.

In it, I took the banal arguments I have with people who praise Star Wars over the ludicrously elitism of the Star Trek franchise pre-Abrams, who he himself dragged it kicking and screaming into the 2010’s with Michael Bay-ish aplomb, and compared it to discussions some people like claiming the validity of reverse racism in South Africa.

Obviously, I won’t cover the whole joke here. It’s evolving and I’ll make it work. Keep Reading

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