Today was the first day I had my ass handed to me in a boxing lesson.Keep Reading
In this month’s Movie Trailer Watch, I point out the few arrivals that make me stop, rewatch and think, “WTF?” Those WTF trailers that don’t really show exactly what’s going on or understand their meaning. Alternatively, they have seemingly crazy summaries that make you wonder, “WTF?”
A Wrinkle in Time
Chris Pine and Oprah Winfrey star in a film about time travel. It’s a time travel show featuring wonderful sets, gorgeous graphics and visuals that will spin you out of control. I think that pretty much covers it, unless you can tell me what the plot is, then I’ll include it here.
Liam Neeson sits in a chair and is suddenly given an offer he CAN refuse, but doesn’t. Why though? I mean why the f***?
A Norwegian sci-fi fest about a girl with supernatural ability falling in love with another girl and being tested. Nicely shot, everyone’s thin and the message of diversity against your own mind plays quite well. But again, WTF?
Better Watch Out
America has its share of horrors, thrillers and comedy, but throw all three into a mix and you get a WTF trailer that gives you an unexpected surprise. Enjoy it.
This movie is bonkers, pure bonkers and the title gives nothing of it away. The central plot is about money and jealousy, love and jealousy, sex and jealousy. And Afros, so many Afros. It looks too crazy to be real but here it is, someone paid money for it and it’s on.
Christian Bale puts on his best Batman voice with a bulldog moustache, facing off against other people that don’t like him out in the Wild West. Rosamund Pike supports with a solid American accent, but you have to ask where it came from. I mean, what is this movie about???
It was a promising start for First Thursdays; deep within the bowels of Cape Town’s urban CBD centre, millennials meandered around, babbling in tongues of various languages, be it European, African or technological.
Me and everything that is good about my life walked around, and I was immediately reminded by Louis CK’s sketch about coffeeshop patrons with their sneery chat, “bleghbleghblegh I know bleghblegh Obama.” Keep Reading
Ok, I know, sorry, I haven’t posted for what seems like yonks, and the closest I’ve bothered is either some obscure advertisement for a gig or an opinion about videogames. But I’m a closet narcissist and hate myself for it, so don’t want to constantly berate the public with thoughts about shoes and food and some odd culture.
However, I can tell summarise my 2011 for you.
January and February culminated in a personal transition involving someone else which I won’t go into, although many people who know me are instantly aware. But what I can reveal is that my behaviour was bordering on abhorrent and I apologise profusely, and I hope that the rest of the year has been good for you as it has been educational for me.
March and April heralded a housemove with two brilliant comics, sharing a lounge, balcony (small bit of heaven for me) and being able to feel alone again to ponder my thoughts and progress through my development as an individually twat. Comically, I begun placing myself into weird gigs that threatened to derail my confidence, while at the same time feeling jubilant during the moments I make someone in a room full of strangers giggle at my own little stories. It’s nice to know I’ve achieved the basics of humour in an endeavour I never believed could succeed.
Rolling through May, I made a trip to South Africa for my mom’s 70th birthday and debuting on the stage in front of my adopted countrymen (yes, I grew up there but wasn’t born there), and it was so nice to be acknowledged for the jokes I’ve written about my growth in front of family who immediately praised me. Think what you think, but I was never acknowledged for the little achievements I made in my younger years by my family, so that night was VERY special and I love them even more than I did before.
June and July rolled by without incident apart from working with Aaron Truss on “Free Cuddles with 007”, a lovely project that taught me the value of working with someone on a creative level, writing a coherent script and performing to a lovely crowd in Clapham for our preview.
August was Edinburgh and the end of my role in the company I learnt to work in as a producer. But my time in Scotland was special purely for a lovely informal review and the hard work I placed in doing 4 shows a day. I was knackered and could’ve imploded in a self-important ball of “why me” had it not been for a healthier month-style of not drinking too much, strawberry smoothies and going to bed early.
Hanging out with Des and Masud together as one was amazing too, and adding Aaron to the 1.21 Jiggawatts Crew meant we had an awesome imrpov troupe that amazed a wonderful crowd of people, especially when I’ve taken years of abuse with domesticity and made the “World Championship of Ironing” into a spectacle worth remembering. Thanks boys.
September was layover till the next job role, and this meant chilling out, doing gigs, writing new material and performing. I understand that the comedy scene is diluted with stand-up acts who are out of jobs and just say the most banal things, but I cherish the opportunity to perform my material in front of strangers and be the expressive, confident man I always dreamed of being. I don’t put it to everyday use in my life as I should, always over-analysing my behaviour instead of letting go and just being me, but at least I’m working on that and I always will.
October was the saddest month of my life as one of my oldest friends in London succumbed to the big C, and I recall visiting him at the hospital on the day, seeing him lay there on a respirator. And as I played host to the London Ambulance Service’s Battle of the Bands, a charity event to raise funds for their Benevolent Fund, the brightest spark of my earliest memories in this big city blew out and he was no more. Feeling bummed out just doesn’t come close, and even though I don’t spend many evenings with the same crowd, I miss them and especially him all the same. Goodbye Homer, I will hopefully continue to make you proud of me (not like you’re my dad, but just someone I hope to impress from up there while you’re mooning God with a flaming piece of toilet paper sticking out of your bum) 😉
In November I retired from the small room in Camden I inherited from the wonderful Imran Yusuf, an inspiration in many respects, but I knew that had I kept working that room I would become this stale old man performing to two people a week and that would’ve destroyed my personality to the point of bitterness, and I will not allow that. So I’ve freed my Wednesday and sacrificed Thursday/Friday for you, the generous and beautiful public in the hope that you will enjoy what I do.
And December is still upon us, and at the time of writing I’m hosting the 3rd Annual Comedians Christmas Party, so hopefully I get to relax with people who are far more talented than me in a more social context. I do enjoy being sociable, honest xx