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Movie Trailer Watch – September Edition “WTF Trailers”

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wtf trailer

In this month’s Movie Trailer Watch, I point out the few arrivals that make me stop, rewatch and think, “WTF?” Those WTF trailers that don’t really show exactly what’s going on or understand their meaning. Alternatively, they have seemingly crazy summaries that make you wonder, “WTF?”

A Wrinkle in Time

Chris Pine and Oprah Winfrey star in a film about time travel. It’s a time travel show featuring wonderful sets, gorgeous graphics and visuals that will spin you out of control. I think that pretty much covers it, unless you can tell me what the plot is, then I’ll include it here.

The Commuter

Liam Neeson sits in a chair and is suddenly given an offer he CAN refuse, but doesn’t. Why though? I mean why the f***?

Thelma

A Norwegian sci-fi fest about a girl with supernatural ability falling in love with another girl and being tested. Nicely shot, everyone’s thin and the message of diversity against your own mind plays quite well. But again, WTF?

Better Watch Out

America has its share of horrors, thrillers and comedy, but throw all three into a mix and you get a WTF trailer that gives you an unexpected surprise. Enjoy it.

Nola Circus

This movie is bonkers, pure bonkers and the title gives nothing of it away. The central plot is about money and jealousy, love and jealousy, sex and jealousy. And Afros, so many Afros. It looks too crazy to be real but here it is, someone paid money for it and it’s on.

Hostiles

Christian Bale puts on his best Batman voice with a bulldog moustache, facing off against other people that don’t like him out in the Wild West. Rosamund Pike supports with a solid American accent, but you have to ask where it came from. I mean, what is this movie about???

Sailing means you have to ride the waves…

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ride the waves

Sailing means you have to ride the waves and, for some incomprehensible reason that fails me even to this day, we as human metamorphosise our expectations of achieving emotional bliss by creating the same duality, envisioning our meager and short little existences as ships sailing into the horizon, sometimes calm and sometimes stormy.

But from what I’ve read, most ships had scurvy…and seamen.

And this blog suffers from the stormy times. I tend to write positively when things are going my way, but in reality it’s more when I think clearer about…stuff.
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Movie Trailer Watch – July edition

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movie trailer

Wow, two blog posts in one day. Peculiar, no?

Anyway, so I’ve been thinking about which movies to look forward to in the new year or next, and thinking that I’d like for people to get to know me more, I thought that not only do I forward through recommendations of trailers I like, but also what I think of them.

So…tada.

Total Recall

Colin Farrell takes over the remake reins from Arnie in what should be August’s most talked-about science fiction reworking since Metropolis director Fritz Lang thought, “Wow, wouldn’t a typewriter look cool in gold with boobs?”

After the mind-warping process instigated by a TMZ-inspired John Cho in awful but futuristic peroxide hair, Douglas Quaid is bestowed with lightning reflexes and quick-trigger tenacities while being assisted convolutedly by Jessica Biel driving a floating car, keeping the setting in line with all of Phillip K. Dick’s endless supplies of short stories.

The fact that Kate Beckinsale fills Sharon Stone’s role as the semi-demon wife wishing ill-will on his person makes the whole two-minute affair avoiding yet another episode of How I Met Your Mother on my family’s television extremely appealing and gives the “share this on Facebook” factor extremely high.

Craigslist Joe

Craigslist Joe rides the Morgan Spurlock wave with a new, possibly bland, protagonist (albeit a guy that seems like he’s condoms with all three girlfriends in his life, at least) as he tries to pinpoint how social media broke down America’s sense of community by living completely off Craigslist, evil competitor to antipodean powerhouse Gumtree, for one month.

And by living off, I mean have no contact with friends or family, travelling through America asking for room and board in exchange for potential users seeking favours of any kind. In one scene, <insert cute voice> our hero <close cute voice> helps a middle-aged woman addicted to hoarding various goods with organising her hapless little junk empire, so that he may have a piece of bread and a floor to sleep on.

I can’t help but feel jealous from this ultra-scary but ΓΌber-cool attempt (ok, it’s not that scary if he had a camera crew following him everywhere) at travelling hassle-free of job-searching and paying tax, while establishing the fundamental flaw of America’s sociological make-up through the beginning of the 21st Century. One brief positive note: he loses a lot of weight along the way.

Cue Hollywood sabbatical diet treatment?

Ted

There are few men in this that can do what they like and actually can claim, with absolute sincerity, that they bring joy to the world, with everyone else agreeing with those people AND without fear of violent reprisal. That excludes President al-Assad of Syria (in fact, all presidents), Lord Sebastian Coe of the London Olympics, the South African Consulat representative in London that was an absolute bastard towards me, and a Somalian child soldier.

Who is included is Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane, and for that sir, I thank you…graciously, for sending us Ted, his first motion picture that nearly almost avoided animation whatsoever if it didn’t include an animated teddy bear that humps a supermarket scan machine to impress a pretty girl.

Alongside Mark Wahlberg, sporting incredible magical powers as a little boy that wills his plush toy into existence, Ted grows up fuelled by an overactive sex-drive and a penchant for bong-smoking afternoons on the couch. But like any dirty-talking best friend, he gets ousted from the shared apartment by Mark’s needy girlfriend Mila Kunis, voice of the ever-denied, ever-hated and totally diatribed Meg Griffin.

I want to see this wonderful movie made by the world’s luckiest man (he missed boarding one of the 9/11 planes while en-route to pitch Family Guy to Fox) and, being stuck here in South Africa, I can’t wait for it to reach our boxed-in shores.

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