So Harvey Weinstein is in the firing line for multiple claims of sexual harassment by many people. By women who have experienced encroaching encounters with the film producer, and many men who claim to have witnessed the same.
In this month’s Movie Trailer Watch, I point out the few arrivals that make me stop, rewatch and think, “WTF?” Those WTF trailers that don’t really show exactly what’s going on or understand their meaning. Alternatively, they have seemingly crazy summaries that make you wonder, “WTF?”
A Wrinkle in Time
Chris Pine and Oprah Winfrey star in a film about time travel. It’s a time travel show featuring wonderful sets, gorgeous graphics and visuals that will spin you out of control. I think that pretty much covers it, unless you can tell me what the plot is, then I’ll include it here.
Liam Neeson sits in a chair and is suddenly given an offer he CAN refuse, but doesn’t. Why though? I mean why the f***?
A Norwegian sci-fi fest about a girl with supernatural ability falling in love with another girl and being tested. Nicely shot, everyone’s thin and the message of diversity against your own mind plays quite well. But again, WTF?
Better Watch Out
America has its share of horrors, thrillers and comedy, but throw all three into a mix and you get a WTF trailer that gives you an unexpected surprise. Enjoy it.
This movie is bonkers, pure bonkers and the title gives nothing of it away. The central plot is about money and jealousy, love and jealousy, sex and jealousy. And Afros, so many Afros. It looks too crazy to be real but here it is, someone paid money for it and it’s on.
Christian Bale puts on his best Batman voice with a bulldog moustache, facing off against other people that don’t like him out in the Wild West. Rosamund Pike supports with a solid American accent, but you have to ask where it came from. I mean, what is this movie about???
My friend Jennifer attends the San Diego Comic Con, leading and organising the zombie-walk beyond its gates and joining thousands of other revellers in weird appearances and fandom discussion panels,
But besides the costumes and the parties, one of the exciting features are the reveal trailers for upcoming movies, televisions series and videogames, and this year’s banquet is no exception. So here’s a pick of some of the best.
Stranger Things 2
The boys are back in 80’s America and the thrills and spills get creepier than ever, as young Will Byers reveals more about his experiences in the alternative reality than the sleepy townsfolk are willing to admit, and powerful Eleven makes her dramatic return.
Star Trek Discovery
To me, it’s still a Abrams-esque show rooted more in extended human emotion than full blown facts and theories which made the originals so lovable, but seems Michelle Yeoh, Jason Isaacs et al might be able to pull off a fantastic new reboot for TV once more.
A horse, a horse, my kingdom for horse, cried King Richard as he lay bleeding on the battle field.
But when you hear the hooves of a horse trampling the dirt in the distance, the only thing you should be doing is running and getting the heck outta there. Love this show.
And just out of the blue, legendary comedian Seth MacFarlane comes through with a homage to the original spinoffs with the Orville, mimicking everything about classic Star Trek but with a humorous twist.
I like popcorn movies; they’re fun and genuinely escapist from all the drudgery we deal with daily. So let’s indulge and watch short-haired Chris Hemsworth get bromantic with Mark Ruffalo’s CGI.
And let’s all welcome the beautiful Tessa Thompson to her full-blown action hero role.
It’s been a while, Will, whatcha been up to? Separation still messy? Ah well, nevermind, we’ll console you by reminding you how “Will-esque” you portray yourself in a separate rendition of “Alien Nation”, but this time with orcs and elves.
Daredevil raised the bar, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage hung on its coattails, and Iron Fist barely hung on with a lit-up finger. Combine it all together and we’ve got a new series teaming the four up against a brutally honest Sigourney Weaver. And Stick. And Electra. And the Punisher.
Might as well call it Daredevil Season 3.
If you haven’t listened to Willem Dafoe speak, watch this trailer just for his voice, then head to the bathroom and try to watch the fear from your heart. So lovable, so gorgeous.
MGM, title holder of the Stargate franchise, having teased scifi fans with the promise of 3-movie series revival, announced the launch of a prequel streaming series, originally titled “Stargate Origins”.
It’s an excuse for producers to spend lots of money on a period piece set in the 1920’s, instead of scifi visuals and makeup. And oh yes, it makes plenty of sense.
Available exclusively on www.stargatecommand.co (please don’t forget to remove the “m” at the end else you’ll be confusing it with the private gamer club on Star Citizen), this 10-episode digital series will focus on the character of Catherine Langford discovering the alien construction with her father in Eqypt, up until she recruits Daniel Jackson to assist with decrypting its secrets.
Watch the teaser below:
And in true fashion, here’s 6 reasons why they should be making a prequel to a franchise spanning films, books and three very expansive series:
- They will beat everyone to the punch before the Game of Thrones prequel comes around.
- We don’t really need a new vision of the scope of amazement and wonder in a far-flung galaxy we could never reach in our lifetime.
- Human emotion under amazing odds is far more thrilling to watch if the scene is set with frilly petticoats and period racism.
- Like 30 years in Jesus’s life, we don’t know why the Stargate was hidden and unused, and how the US AirForce obtained it. And we really need to know now.
- The franchise is lacking a female lead, which Star Trek not only achieved before with Voyager but will again through Discovery.
- Richard Dean Anderson has become fat, and they’d be obliged to feature him in a sequel.
But while I await the new movies that reboots the franchise, I’m happy to lap up the origins series and see how they represent the beginning of a wonderful canon.
Wow, two blog posts in one day. Peculiar, no?
Anyway, so I’ve been thinking about which movies to look forward to in the new year or next, and thinking that I’d like for people to get to know me more, I thought that not only do I forward through recommendations of trailers I like, but also what I think of them.
Colin Farrell takes over the remake reins from Arnie in what should be August’s most talked-about science fiction reworking since Metropolis director Fritz Lang thought, “Wow, wouldn’t a typewriter look cool in gold with boobs?”
After the mind-warping process instigated by a TMZ-inspired John Cho in awful but futuristic peroxide hair, Douglas Quaid is bestowed with lightning reflexes and quick-trigger tenacities while being assisted convolutedly by Jessica Biel driving a floating car, keeping the setting in line with all of Phillip K. Dick’s endless supplies of short stories.
The fact that Kate Beckinsale fills Sharon Stone’s role as the semi-demon wife wishing ill-will on his person makes the whole two-minute affair avoiding yet another episode of How I Met Your Mother on my family’s television extremely appealing and gives the “share this on Facebook” factor extremely high.
Craigslist Joe rides the Morgan Spurlock wave with a new, possibly bland, protagonist (albeit a guy that seems like he’s condoms with all three girlfriends in his life, at least) as he tries to pinpoint how social media broke down America’s sense of community by living completely off Craigslist, evil competitor to antipodean powerhouse Gumtree, for one month.
And by living off, I mean have no contact with friends or family, travelling through America asking for room and board in exchange for potential users seeking favours of any kind. In one scene, <insert cute voice> our hero <close cute voice> helps a middle-aged woman addicted to hoarding various goods with organising her hapless little junk empire, so that he may have a piece of bread and a floor to sleep on.
I can’t help but feel jealous from this ultra-scary but über-cool attempt (ok, it’s not that scary if he had a camera crew following him everywhere) at travelling hassle-free of job-searching and paying tax, while establishing the fundamental flaw of America’s sociological make-up through the beginning of the 21st Century. One brief positive note: he loses a lot of weight along the way.
Cue Hollywood sabbatical diet treatment?
There are few men in this that can do what they like and actually can claim, with absolute sincerity, that they bring joy to the world, with everyone else agreeing with those people AND without fear of violent reprisal. That excludes President al-Assad of Syria (in fact, all presidents), Lord Sebastian Coe of the London Olympics, the South African Consulat representative in London that was an absolute bastard towards me, and a Somalian child soldier.
Who is included is Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane, and for that sir, I thank you…graciously, for sending us Ted, his first motion picture that nearly almost avoided animation whatsoever if it didn’t include an animated teddy bear that humps a supermarket scan machine to impress a pretty girl.
Alongside Mark Wahlberg, sporting incredible magical powers as a little boy that wills his plush toy into existence, Ted grows up fuelled by an overactive sex-drive and a penchant for bong-smoking afternoons on the couch. But like any dirty-talking best friend, he gets ousted from the shared apartment by Mark’s needy girlfriend Mila Kunis, voice of the ever-denied, ever-hated and totally diatribed Meg Griffin.
I want to see this wonderful movie made by the world’s luckiest man (he missed boarding one of the 9/11 planes while en-route to pitch Family Guy to Fox) and, being stuck here in South Africa, I can’t wait for it to reach our boxed-in shores.