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6 Reasons to Make a Stargate Prequel

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MGM, title holder of the Stargate franchise, having teased scifi fans with the promise of  3-movie series revival, announced the launch of a prequel streaming series, originally titled “Stargate Origins”.

It’s an excuse for producers to spend lots of money on a period piece set in the 1920’s, instead of scifi visuals and makeup. And oh yes, it makes plenty of sense.

Available exclusively on www.stargatecommand.co (please don’t forget to remove the “m” at the end else you’ll be confusing it with the private gamer club on Star Citizen), this 10-episode digital series will focus on the character of Catherine Langford discovering the alien construction with her father in Eqypt, up until she recruits Daniel Jackson to assist with decrypting its secrets.

Watch the teaser below:

And in true fashion, here’s 6 reasons why they should be making a prequel to a franchise spanning films, books and three very expansive series:

  1. They will beat everyone to the punch before the Game of Thrones prequel comes around.
  2. We don’t really need a new vision of the scope of amazement and wonder in a far-flung galaxy we could never reach in our lifetime.
  3. Human emotion under amazing odds is far more thrilling to watch if the scene is set with frilly petticoats and period racism.
  4. Like 30 years in Jesus’s life, we don’t know why the Stargate was hidden and unused, and how the US AirForce obtained it. And we really need to know now.
  5. The franchise is lacking a female lead, which Star Trek not only achieved before with Voyager but will again through Discovery.
  6. Richard Dean Anderson has become fat, and they’d be obliged to feature him in a sequel.

But while I await the new movies that reboots the franchise, I’m happy to lap up the origins series and see how they represent the beginning of a wonderful canon.

stargate gif golf

Star Trek 50th Anniversary – 9 Best Moments

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I could not live without seeing another Star Trek go unwritten, especially at the 50th anniversary of its conception and release. So now, here’s mine for you to enjoy.

  1. The Trouble with Tribbles – the ridiculousness of the small creatures that Captain Kirk used to outsmart a Klingon secret agent.
  2. The Rock, appearing in Voyager as a cage fighter and whacking Borg exile Seven of Nine in hand-to-hand laser-tag fisticuffs.
  3. Jeffrey Combs – that versatile actor that appeared in three spin-offs (DS9, Voyager and Enterprise), delivering the insidious, but ultimately doomed line, “The Dominion…will endure long after the Federation has crumbled into dust.”
  4. Captain Picard’s love-life – three actresses captured the stoic leader’s heart, leaving you with a primal urge to shout at the screen, “just be happy, you idiot.” While holding a candle up for Beverly Crusher the entire series, his intensity for Lieutenant Nella Daran catches you off guard.
  5. While speaking of holding a candle for an entire series, at least Odo from DS9 managed to overcome his shyness through jazz and become entangled (literally) with Colonel Kira Nerys over the last season or two.
  6. Worf and prune juice – because his love for rotten eggs wasn’t enough, his love for the Earth beverage became the humanising factor that defined the Klingon with a “don’t give a damn attitude”. Warrior, father, lover, drinker of juice.
  7. Finding out Simon Turner, “Captain Christopher Pike”, was only in the pilot for the original series, and that decision saved the franchise before it leaped into existence.
  8. The demise of Commander Charles Tucker from Enterprise on its last episode – that heartstring got fully tugged, I won’t lie.
  9. Crazy cameos – amongst them Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine, Seth Macfarlane of “Family Guy” and Kelsey Grammar from “Frasier”

Movie Trailer Watch – July edition

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movie trailer

Wow, two blog posts in one day. Peculiar, no?

Anyway, so I’ve been thinking about which movies to look forward to in the new year or next, and thinking that I’d like for people to get to know me more, I thought that not only do I forward through recommendations of trailers I like, but also what I think of them.

So…tada.

Total Recall

Colin Farrell takes over the remake reins from Arnie in what should be August’s most talked-about science fiction reworking since Metropolis director Fritz Lang thought, “Wow, wouldn’t a typewriter look cool in gold with boobs?”

After the mind-warping process instigated by a TMZ-inspired John Cho in awful but futuristic peroxide hair, Douglas Quaid is bestowed with lightning reflexes and quick-trigger tenacities while being assisted convolutedly by Jessica Biel driving a floating car, keeping the setting in line with all of Phillip K. Dick’s endless supplies of short stories.

The fact that Kate Beckinsale fills Sharon Stone’s role as the semi-demon wife wishing ill-will on his person makes the whole two-minute affair avoiding yet another episode of How I Met Your Mother on my family’s television extremely appealing and gives the “share this on Facebook” factor extremely high.

Craigslist Joe

Craigslist Joe rides the Morgan Spurlock wave with a new, possibly bland, protagonist (albeit a guy that seems like he’s condoms with all three girlfriends in his life, at least) as he tries to pinpoint how social media broke down America’s sense of community by living completely off Craigslist, evil competitor to antipodean powerhouse Gumtree, for one month.

And by living off, I mean have no contact with friends or family, travelling through America asking for room and board in exchange for potential users seeking favours of any kind. In one scene, <insert cute voice> our hero <close cute voice> helps a middle-aged woman addicted to hoarding various goods with organising her hapless little junk empire, so that he may have a piece of bread and a floor to sleep on.

I can’t help but feel jealous from this ultra-scary but über-cool attempt (ok, it’s not that scary if he had a camera crew following him everywhere) at travelling hassle-free of job-searching and paying tax, while establishing the fundamental flaw of America’s sociological make-up through the beginning of the 21st Century. One brief positive note: he loses a lot of weight along the way.

Cue Hollywood sabbatical diet treatment?

Ted

There are few men in this that can do what they like and actually can claim, with absolute sincerity, that they bring joy to the world, with everyone else agreeing with those people AND without fear of violent reprisal. That excludes President al-Assad of Syria (in fact, all presidents), Lord Sebastian Coe of the London Olympics, the South African Consulat representative in London that was an absolute bastard towards me, and a Somalian child soldier.

Who is included is Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane, and for that sir, I thank you…graciously, for sending us Ted, his first motion picture that nearly almost avoided animation whatsoever if it didn’t include an animated teddy bear that humps a supermarket scan machine to impress a pretty girl.

Alongside Mark Wahlberg, sporting incredible magical powers as a little boy that wills his plush toy into existence, Ted grows up fuelled by an overactive sex-drive and a penchant for bong-smoking afternoons on the couch. But like any dirty-talking best friend, he gets ousted from the shared apartment by Mark’s needy girlfriend Mila Kunis, voice of the ever-denied, ever-hated and totally diatribed Meg Griffin.

I want to see this wonderful movie made by the world’s luckiest man (he missed boarding one of the 9/11 planes while en-route to pitch Family Guy to Fox) and, being stuck here in South Africa, I can’t wait for it to reach our boxed-in shores.

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