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2017

Top 10 Best Moments of 2017

in Life by
nelson sam horses

It’s really funny how a year passes and you read how you visualised your future to occur. Not many could have predicted the best moments of 2017’s and the near-cataclysmic opportunities we faced.

Still, it’s all about what we expected to happen versus what really did, and comparing my year now with what I wrote back in 2016 gives me an indication that we aren’t always in control of our lives as much as we’d like, and I’ll point it out in the best moments below:

  1. Went fishing
  2. Returned to London
  3. Grew a beard
  4. Moved to a new home
  5. Found a decent company
  6. Quit smoking
  7. Opened for Joe’s show
  8. Presented my films
  9. Hosted our first Christmas party
  10. Proposed

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PHONES – A Comedy Short Film

in Comedy by

PHONES (2017) – A Comedy Short Film

A sketch comedy film about cellphones.

CAST:
Joe Emilio
Etienne Davids
Perrie Archer
Philip Nel
Cara Ruthernberg

Camera by Nathan Brooks

Written, Edited and Directed by Nelson de Gouveia

Produced by To The Sky Productions and Nelson’s Comedy, 2017

Music Credits:
Dear Future Husband – Meghan Trainor
Funny Song – Bensound.com
Egmont Overture Finale Kevin Macloed
Overture 1812 – The Final – Tchaikovsky

Comic Con – Best Trailers from 2017

in News by
comic con trailers 2017 feature

My friend Jennifer attends the San Diego Comic Con, leading and organising the zombie-walk beyond its gates and joining thousands of other revellers in weird appearances and fandom discussion panels,

But besides the costumes and the parties, one of the exciting features are the reveal trailers for upcoming movies, televisions series and videogames, and this year’s banquet is no exception. So here’s a pick of some of the best.

Stranger Things 2

The boys are back in 80’s America and the thrills and spills get creepier than ever, as young Will Byers reveals more about his experiences in the alternative reality than the sleepy townsfolk are willing to admit, and powerful Eleven makes her dramatic return.

Star Trek Discovery

To me, it’s still a Abrams-esque show rooted more in extended human emotion than full blown facts and theories which made the originals so lovable, but seems Michelle Yeoh, Jason Isaacs et al might be able to pull off a fantastic new reboot for TV once more.

Westworld

A horse, a horse, my kingdom for horse, cried King Richard as he lay bleeding on the battle field.

But when you hear the hooves of a horse trampling the dirt in the distance, the only thing you should be doing is running and getting the heck outta there. Love this show.

The Orville

And just out of the blue, legendary comedian Seth MacFarlane comes through with a homage to the original spinoffs with the Orville, mimicking everything about classic Star Trek but with a humorous twist.

Thor Ragnarok

I like popcorn movies; they’re fun and genuinely escapist from all the drudgery we deal with daily. So let’s indulge and watch short-haired Chris Hemsworth get bromantic with Mark Ruffalo’s CGI.

And let’s all welcome the beautiful Tessa Thompson to her full-blown action hero role.

Bright

It’s been a while, Will, whatcha been up to? Separation still messy? Ah well, nevermind, we’ll console you by reminding you how “Will-esque” you portray yourself in a separate rendition of “Alien Nation”, but this time with orcs and elves.

The Defenders

Daredevil raised the bar, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage hung on its coattails, and Iron Fist barely hung on with a lit-up finger. Combine it all together and we’ve got a new series teaming the four up against a brutally honest Sigourney Weaver. And Stick. And Electra. And the Punisher.

Might as well call it Daredevil Season 3.

Death Note

If you haven’t listened to Willem Dafoe speak, watch this trailer just for his voice, then head to the bathroom and try to watch the fear from your heart. So lovable, so gorgeous.

Top Five Classic Comedy Villains You Need To See

in Comedy by
top ten villains header

Every podcast with most veterans will include a soundbite that goes something along the lines of “I love playing the villain.”

The antagonist is the best thing about a movie, regardless of the protagonist chosen as the film’s blockbuster drawcard. From Gary Oldman in Dracula, to Darth Vader in Star Wars.

And in comedy, it’s no different. Here’s my Top Five Classic Comedy Villains you have to see.

Alan Rickman in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”

While Jesse Eisenberg’s performance as Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman “chewed the furniture”, Alan Rickman gorged upon his lines with relish…and mustard.

It had tremendously help from Kevin Kostner’s wooden Robin Hood to make Rickman’s antics and larky comments that much richer.

Gary Oldman in “The Fifth Element”

In stand-up a joke can be told the same way throughout, yet the performance will constantly change the nuances of the punchlines. And one could’ve delivered a better “Jean-Baptist Emannuel Zorg” quite like theatre great Gary Oldman.

This multi-layered Brit lavishes his character with a Southern drawl and neurotic energy that can never be copied, imitated or perfected.

Thomas F Wilson in “Back to the Future”

Range is a gift and a talent for any actor, and Thomas F Wilson’s many turns as “Biff Tannen” in Back to the Future.

Consider this: he played a rambunctious teenager twice, a self-made business bully and a subservient lacky, a conniving old man AND a villainous, dirty cowboy. Across three movies. I’m still trying to think of a more widely known role any other actor has yet achieved.

Oh and coolest fact I’ve found about a movie yet, Back to the Future is banned in China as they consider time travel “disrespects history.” This means that, potentially, half of the world has never seen Back to the Future.

Rick Moranis in “Spaceballs”

For all the choices above, this list needs a campy, straight-shooting actor who knows when to have fun, and Rick Moranis shone in Mel Brook’s Lucas-blessed parody “Space Balls”.

He provided everything a comedic director would ask for, “Just go out there and be funny.” and Moranis definitely did.

G.W. Bailey in “Police Academy”

While R Lee Eremy as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in “Full Metal Jacket” epitomised true military authority most teenagers despised, G.W. Bailey’s turn as the underrated leader Lieutenant Harris in “Police Academy” galvanised the comedic version.

Campy and Napoleonic, the character was the butt of the group’s jokes and the source of recalcitrance for many a youth then and today.

And there you have it. Hope this cheered up your day from the long weekend.

Are your dogs barking for your attention?

in Life by
dogs barking

In my own little world this morning, I walked past someone’s house and was shocked out of my reverie by dogs barking, two little pedigree bull terriers to be exact.

And commonly humans perceive that they’re just protecting their home from intruders, but my brain went a little overboard with new possibilities.

What if they are just barking to get your attention?

Like little kids that pluck your jean flaps trying to tell you something, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” and you respond, “What?”, only for the answer to be…

…”Nothing.”

Maybe dogs are just trying to tell you something as you pass by, like “Hey! Hey! Hey! You! Hey! I’ve got something to tell you!”

If you’re inquisitive, turn around, approach said doggy and ask, “What is it, boy, little Jimmy fell down the well?”

Here are the possible answers:

  • I just saw a cat!
  • Have you seen my balls?
  • My master is really tall.
  • It’s my ball, it’s my ball, it’s my ball!
  • You smell like cherries.
  • I haven’t smelt a butt in dayyysss….

Or examples thereof.

WhatsApp Status – The new feature that should remain old

in Life by
Whatsapp

Whatsapp has come a long way from the days when the engineers that built it were denied a job at Facebook. Now, Jan Koum and Brian Acton are two happy men. With money.

Lots of it, in fact. Around $19 billion. For Whatsapp.

Well, no, since we’re so silly to think they’re both living Scrooge McDuck lives and jumping off a diving board into gold coins.

And now they’ve come up with a new feature stolen from someone who stole it from someone who thought it was a cool feature to attract teens with low esteem.

Whatsapp Status – a 24 hour content stream that lets you upload an image or video about anything and everything, and disappears the next day.

Why?

I mean why on Whatsapp, what is the point? On Snapchat, I could understand since its a instantaneous “here and gone”, pretty much the original thoughts that enter and leave young people’s minds right before they take a “serrrllffiiiieeee”.

And then it ventured onto Instagram, the grownup version, providing sexy people with the opportunity to show off their abs and butts without waiting for the tabloids to do so.

But it made sense there; Instagram is a public tool, allowing strangers to wangle into your storefront and stare blandly at the goods. And the platform, thanks to their algorithms that detected female nipples and overall genitalia, became as trusted a family social tool as Christmas dinner.

Whatsapp is reserved for your friends and family though, and your vanity is limited to the few that really care or technically don’t. So is this new feature an actually ploy to grab further users (they doubled they userbase in the past two years to around 1.2 billion) or trying to be relevant in a landscape with the “same old same old”?

The instant gratification of a few seconds of “status” still intrigues me, yet I have been unable to obtain a plausible reason why. I ask those around me why implementing a 5 second video of themselves giving the finger to the world would be so appealing, only to have generalised responses like, “bra, it’s cool, why be so uptight?”

Uptight? Is it me then? Am I turning into a fuddy-duddy, where “new things” upset the order of the universe? No, I’ve been a curmudgeon for so long I can criminalise a new flavour of chocolate ice-cream that appears in my supermarket shelf, so I haven’t changed.

I’m just not sure I’m happy with using data reminding my private list of contacts what mood I’m feeling. If I want to let someone know how I feel, I’ll send a wonderful voicenote akin to what Louis CK hates. “Heeeyyyyy bro, these chicken cheez whizzes are like…ammmaaarrzzzinnggg????”

What I really want to change though is my ringtone. Oh man, if only could I change my ringtone to something I can customise and create, I would be SOOO happy. So goddamn happy, I could scream.

Let me change my ringtone, Whatsapp. Please.

How I’m trying to make an offensive joke funny…

in Comedy by
How I'm trying to make an offensive joke funny...

I worried over a joke last night that I knew will be offensive because I hadn’t written it correctly and it was raw.

In it, I took the banal arguments I have with people who praise Star Wars over the ludicrously elitism of the Star Trek franchise pre-Abrams, who he himself dragged it kicking and screaming into the 2010’s with Michael Bay-ish aplomb, and compared it to discussions some people like claiming the validity of reverse racism in South Africa.

Obviously, I won’t cover the whole joke here. It’s evolving and I’ll make it work. Keep Reading

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